Top tips for Writing Personalised Vows
So, your wedding day has almost arrived and the excitement is starting to set in…only to be followed by the realisation that it’s time to start writing your very own wedding vows.
Wedding vows are such a magical and totally personal moment. It’s a chance to express your love, your personality and the unique nature of the relationship you and your partner share. Be it emotion charged or lighthearted words that see you seal-the-deal, it’s important to think about what it is that you want to express in this once-in-a-lifetime moment.
We know that just the thought of piecing together and putting into words the love you have for your spouse can be daunting, however we are here to assure you that it really needn’t be.
With these few little tips and tricks we’ll have you dishing those vows out like the modern day Casanova that you are.
Sit down… just the two of you.
You may have completely different ideas about what wedding vows look and sound like, so by sitting down and discussing what you’re both envisioning, it provides a really clear idea about where to start.
Do you want to make and share promises to each other that you’ll uphold throughout your marriage?
Do you want to state the things you love most about each other and why you’ve made the decision to get married?
Do you want your vows to be more light hearted and fun and mention how your favourite thing about him is that he can do the lift from Dirty Dancing?
Or, do you want them to be on the more serious and formal side?
By honing in on a particular theme and tone, it will help to ensure there’s a beautiful synchronicity between your vows.
How long do you want your vows to be? There is no minimum and maximum (within reason) word count here. The beauty of wedding vows these days is that they can be completely personalised to what you and your partner want.
It’s often suggested by celebrants, that it can be helpful to pick a word count and stick to it. If it’s a little bit over or under, that’s fine but giving an approximate amount of words can make the thought of writing vows less overwhelming.
Examples, examples, examples.
Don’t feel like you’re alone in this, there are countless examples of wedding vows currently residing on the internet. Don’t be shy, have a look, have a read, ask your friends and family what they included in theirs. Inspiration is there, just waiting to be found. You can always start by jotting down some ideas and please, don’t think you need to write everything all at once. Giving yourself time to piece it altogether will ensure you’ve got something super sweet and vows that you’re really happy with.
Consider some themes.
Free-form writing can be tricking, so consider putting pen to paper around some common themes and ideas:
- Making promises to each other – the whole basis for your commitment of marriage
- What you love most about your partner
- Reflect on your past, your present and hopes for your future together
- Share a poem or if you’re feeling up to it, write your own
- How your partner makes your life better
- What this marriage means to you
- Share a story from a time in your relationship
Just do it.
We all do it but we also know that procrastinating can ultimately lead to more panic. A Tribe celebrant told us recently of a groom that was getting so stressed by the thought of writing his vows that he’d email her every few days asking for more examples, more ideas and where and how he should even start. She told him, to simply just start. Start writing and whatever pops into your head just write it down, even if it doesn’t flow and make sense. Just write it down.
Literally the next day, he emailed saying ‘Wow, once he started it all just came out and it was so easy…’.
Do it your way.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to write your own vows. You can choose to write them together or separately. You can share the same vows or have them completely different from one another. It is completely up to you. If you want to ask your partner’s opinion then do so, if you want it to be a surprise on the day, ask a close friend or even your celebrant to have a read over your vows and see if they can offer any suggestions.
It’s really important to remember that it’s just the two of you up there. Don’t get caught up with what you ‘think’ you should say and how you should say it. It’s your day and it’s an opportunity to share words with each other that you may not normally mention on the reg. So get up there and tell your partner how much you love them in a way that is meaningful to the both of you.
Good luck, although you won’t need it now!
Now that your vows are underway – is your ceremony situation in order? From set-up, to sound, weather and safety considerations – click here for our low-down of nailing your ceremony from start to finish.
Written by Ivory Tribe contributor Kathryn Brandt.