Reader Dilemma: Will We Regret Saying No To Kids At Our Wedding?
It’s a question that can undoubtedly put a lot of stress on many couples planning a wedding, and we’ll be honest – it isn’t a simple yes or no scenario. It goes without saying that this can be a decision that can stir up emotions, logistical challenges, and more than a few family debates. But don’t worry; we’re here to help you navigate this delicate issue with grace and clarity.
First things first—consider your vision.
Are you dreaming of a serene, sophisticated affair where champagne flows, and the atmosphere is one of quiet elegance? Or is your day all about a relaxed, family-friendly celebration with a lively dance floor and laughter from guests of all ages? Or, perhaps somewhere in the middle.
Understanding the vibe you want will help guide your decision.
Next up—logistics.
Having kids at your wedding can mean additional planning considerations. Will you need a kids’ menu? Should you hire a babysitter or set up a dedicated kids’ zone? Think about the venue’s layout and the type of entertainment you’ve planned—will it be suitable (and safe) for little ones?
Of course, the guest list plays a role too.
Are you close with the families attending? Will certain friends or relatives be less likely to come if their children aren’t invited? It’s important to weigh how this decision might impact the people you care about most.
Some scenarios may mean you decide to invite your own or your immediate family’s children but want to draw the line at your cousin’s kids. This can be tricky to manage unless you are consistent and clear, so be sure you and your partner are on the same page and communicate clearly with the parents involved. A way around this can be to have family children attend the ceremony and family photos following but then leave with a babysitter or carer before the reception begins.
Some wording around this on your invitations could be:
While we adore your children, we can only accommodate the children of close family at our event. We appreciate your understanding.
To ensure an intimate atmosphere, we kindly ask that only the children of our closest family members attend. We’re so grateful for your understanding.
We regret that we cannot accommodate all of our guests’ children and are limiting child attendance to close family members only. We hope this allows you to fully enjoy the celebration with us.
Also, consider the ages of the children. Having a newborn or infant attend is a very different scenario from having a five- or six-year-old, with different considerations and requirements. If you’re not sure of what this may mean, here is a good breakdown of the impacts of different age children at a wedding.
Are you planning a destination wedding, or are guests travelling to attend?
Whilst we are the first to advocate for a “your day, your way” ethos, being aware of your guest’s travel logistics and budget investment can be a kind path to take. For some guests, travelling far from home and leaving their children with strangers may not be an option for financial or personal reasons. So, whilst this most definitely should not dictate your choices, perhaps consider how you could strike a balance. If many guests are travelling with their families, perhaps source a babysitting service in the area for them or connect them with other families if a creche-style scenario feels like a better option.
If you decide to go the adults-only route, be clear and considerate in your communication.
Whether it’s a note on the invitation or a direct conversation with parents, let them know early so they can make arrangements. And remember, this is your day—you’re allowed to make choices that best reflect your desires, even if they might ruffle a few feathers.
Here are some examples of wording you can use in your invitations:
While we love your little ones, we kindly request that our wedding be a celebration for adults only. Thank you for making arrangements to join us!
To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children at the reception.
In order to allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we have chosen to make our special day adults only. We hope you can enjoy a child-free evening with us.
On the flip side, if you welcome children, embrace the chaos and joy they bring.
Consider ways to keep them entertained, such as activity packs, a fun photo booth, a dedicated play area or even an event nanny to give the parents a break. And if things get a bit noisy, just roll with it—those moments might become some of your most heartwarming, spontaneous memories.
Whether you choose to include children or not, what matters most is creating a day that feels true to you as a couple. And as many couples will attest, whatever scenarios unfold in the planning stages, on the day, it will undoubtedly be forgotten in the excitement and gravity of what you are there to celebrate. After all, your guests are ultimately there to celebrate you and your love – and that’s something everyone can get behind.
Creating your guest list can be one of the trickiest wedding planning tasks. Read our article on how to handle the guest list, before it handles you, for insight and advice on how to make the process as ease-filled as possible.
