Honouring maternal figures in your wedding: Mothers, Grandmothers and beyond
Where would we be without the maternal influences in our lives?
Ok, sometimes during the wedding planning process, they may drive you up the wall – however, in many instances, they are the ones you talk to about so many aspects of your wedding day. The ones who somehow manage to listen attentively to your fourth monologue about veil vs bridal scarves, or the merits of powder blue over cornflower blue without suggesting you might be overthinking things (even when you definitely are). And while they may occasionally send you spiraling into wedding stress, it’s almost always because they care deeply about your happiness (and are often pretty full of happy tears thinking about your wedding day, too!).
These relationships look different for everyone.
For some, it’s a biological mother guiding them through each decision. For others, it might be a grandmother, stepmother, aunt, mentor, or chosen family member who fills that nurturing role.
And for those navigating weddings without a maternal presence—whether through loss, distance, or complicated family dynamics—finding ways to honour important women in your life can be especially meaningful.
Whoever plays this pivotal role in your story, here are some thoughtful ways to involve that special figure in your wedding celebrations.
Aisle files.
Break with tradition, and have both parents walk you down the aisle, or even just your Mum. Should you feel this might not lend nicely to the tradition of the day, have your celebrant get your guest’s attention and then have your mother walk down the aisle (escorted or un-escorted), right before the processional.
Helping hand.
Allow your mother to lend a helping hand where she can – be it collecting rose petals for the petal toss at the end of the ceremony, sourcing the perfect cake-topper, or helping seal the envelopes on your invitations, not only is it a great help, but it can also create some special bonding time between the two of you.
Words of wisdom.
Have your mother share a reading she has especially chosen for you at the ceremony. Or, you could invite her forward to simply impart some marriage advice or her hopes for your marriage at a moment in the ceremony that best suits. Some celebrants will include a few words of wisdom from special figures in your life, which for those women who may prefer to avoid the spotlight, could be a lesser stress option.
Sign me up.
Wedding ceremonies need two witnesses to sign the marriage register. Invite your mother to be a witness during the ceremony when the signing of the register takes place, but also have your officiant explain why they have been chosen and why they are so special to you.
Cheers to the newlyweds!
Ask your mother to share a toast or speech at your wedding reception. It will be an opportunity for her to share her thoughts on you and your marriage and what she hopes.
Sweet soundtrack.
What better way to surprise your mum than allocating a special song at the reception so you can have a boogie with your mum. Have the entertainment introduce it, grab your mum and go hit that dance floor!
Love letters.
Leave a special note for your mother when she wakes on the morning of your wedding day. Or, at her place setting, for her to read as she takes her seat at reception. This is sure to be a tear-jerker, so leave some tissues also!
Picture perfect.
Display her wedding pictures at your reception, and go back even further and display your grandmother’s also. A beautiful, sentimental touch to showcase each generation of family.
Something borrowed.
As the old tradition goes, ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’, use this as a chance to show your mum how special she is by requesting something of hers to keep with you on your wedding day.
Swatch it.
If you’re lucky enough to have your mother’s own wedding dress or veil to hand, perhaps have a swatch of her dress sewed into the inside of your own or wrap a swatch of her veil around your bouquet. Even better, if her veil is fitting for your own wedding style, wear it.
Hidden talent.
If your mother is a goddess in the kitchen, let her assist in making your wedding day super sweet. Whether she helps in baking your wedding cake, or assists in making favours (think jam jars or cookies) let her contribute her love through her cooking.
Mum’s memory.
Should your mother no longer be with us, a wedding day can be an especially trying time – navigating the emotions of missing somebody special is never easy. Your officiant will be able to make mention of this in their address to your guests – letting people know that while they are not physically present, your loved one is no doubt there in spirit, beaming with pride and joy.
Another nod to your leading lady, missing in action, might be the inclusion of a special photo memory and candle at your reception celebrations. This can signify that a special individual is watching the evening unfold and brings a smile to those who stop for a quiet moment’s reflection.
Whether it be your biological mother, stepmother, grandmother, aunt, or a close family friend who plays the pivotal nurturing role in your life, weddings are a time of remembrance, joy and acknowledgement for those in support of you marrying the love of your life. Embrace all the emotions and celebrate them in whatever way feels right for you.
Looking for other ways to include loved ones in your wedding day celebrations? See our guide to personalising your wedding ceremony.
