Real Wedding – Rach & Xav, Wallington VIC
When the style ethos is “kids party for adults” with the ultimate priority being FUN, Rach and Xav’s celebration was set to be nothing short of epic. Balancing the play, dance, and entertainment is the serene natural backdrop, perfect for bringing a grounded, genuine energy to a truly out-of-the-box party.
We love Rach and Xav’s sustainable approach to their wedding day, big on feels and considered intention, without compromising on their colour and sparkle style dynamic.
Xav pulled together a stellar fit in deep forest green, while Rach’s stunning Kyha gown is just the right amount of edgy while bringing true main character energy.
We love every frame of this ultra-fun, stunningly unique day, captured through the indomitably talented lens of Jackson Grant.
The meeting.
We met through Xav’s brother Tom, at a festival, years before love ever blossomed. We always saw each other around and were pretty friendly and loved to have a boogie together, but in 2020, something was in the water, the planets shifted, the stars aligned, and we started dating. A classic pandemic story, really. We were enjoying each others’ company and thought we might as well be each others’ ‘bubble buddy’ through the Melbourne lockdown(s). Things get real intimate real quick when you can’t do anything but hang out in the house and watch movies, cook meals and talk and talk and talk.
The one.
Rach: It was Christmas. I’m admittedly a bit of a Grinch, but Xav is a big fan of Christmas and seemed to have challenged himself to make it something I’d enjoy. He invited me over to spend Christmas Eve together, but it wasn’t just about convincing me or rolling out some generic romantic gesture, he really tailored everything to me and knew exactly what I would like, and it hit me hard what a beautiful and thoughtful person he is and how much he really loved and cared for me and was willing to show up for me.
Xav: I fell in love with Rach through dancing and conversation. It was on my birthday, however, when I knew I’d found something pretty spesh. On what would’ve otherwise been a relatively lacklustre day, Rach appeared at my doorstep the morning of with the most thoughtful collection of gifts. Coupled with her bubbly personality, it quickly set the tone for a very heartwarming Birthday – thinking back, it was something straight out of a B-grade Hollywood flick, and I loved every second of it.
The proposal.
Never one to do things by halves, Xav proposed on the most stunning beach we had ever seen on Holbox Island in Mexico. We took a morning walk along these frankly ridiculous, crystal-clear blue waters, and Xav knew this was the spot and suggested we come back later to watch the sunset. I had no idea that this classic ruse was unfolding as we enjoyed the most perfect day, drinking beers in hammocks, eating gorgeous food and riding bikes around the island before making our way back at sunset. We propped up the camera on the beach to get those golden hour snaps, and Xav plopped down on one knee and popped the best question ever. I’d always thought I was pretty un-surprisable, but this one got me good!
Planning process.
We are both pretty organised people, so a lot of spreadsheeting was involved. We did all of the planning and decision-making together, and it was awesome to work together as a team on such a fun project. The decisions were easy from the get-go. We knew we wanted to create something uniquely us and were not fans of the classic wedding aesthetic or traditions and maybe we are also a teensy, tiny, lil’ bit, control freaks – so we knew it was going to be pretty DIY.
Initially, we got all of the big stuff squared away – celebrant, photographer, band and venue – and we basically just had a giant to-do list of everything we needed to book, procure, create or think about, and we would just carve out time to sit down together with a bottle of wine and pick a couple of things to work on and get locked-in. We kept track of all of our research/enquiries and bookings in a spreadsheet, which makes a huge difference when you’re sending out dozens of enquiry forms and going back and forth with about a million potential vendors on quotes and inclusions and weighing up options.
Style inspiration.
Vibes-wise, we just wanted FUN. The guiding inspo was essentially ‘kid’s party for adults’. We wanted to have all sorts of entertainment and activities and create opportunities for our guests to mingle and play and get to know each other. The dance floor was also a central component. In balance with that, we wanted an environment where we could be in nature and with a relaxed and informal feel.
Aesthetically, it was about finding a natural, rustic backdrop to fill with colour and sparkle. Epic vegan food was a must, but we also didn’t want the eating to get in the way of the partying, so we opted for a food truck rather than a sit-down meal since you can still dance with a taco in your hand.
It was also really important to us to be as sustainable and socially conscious as possible. All the food and drinks were vegan, we trawled op shops and Marketplace for second hand vases and disco balls, hired glassware and borrowed whatever we could from family and friends. We did all of our invites digitally, and anything that we did buy new, we made sure could be reused.
Real weddings were great for inspo. I (Rach) decided to do all of the flowers and decorations myself, so I spent a lot of time looking at bright florals, sussing out how they were arranged and working out the types of flowers used to see what fit the colour scheme and what we would reasonably be able to get our hands on in Melbourne for the time of year.
People get so much more creative with their weddings these days so we were really always on the lookout for ways that other people were putting new spins on things, adding personality and veering away from the norm.
The ceremony.
We got married outside, surrounded by beautiful gum trees. The energy of the ceremony was really chill, and we were both so relaxed and happy that there really wasn’t any room for nerves. We both wrote our own vows, and our celebrant, Shan from Ceremony Collaborative, did the most amazing job of creating a ceremony that was super personal and never felt like a legal formality. I love that we got to share our love and our story with all our friends and family. We also hit the jackpot with the weather, mid-20s and sunny, so that was just the cherry on top.
The outfits.
Rach: I always knew what kind of wedding dress I wanted… but that went straight out the window as soon as I started seriously looking at Pinterest inspo and dress stores and just felt like I was seeing so much of the same everywhere. I spent months kind of looking/mostly procrastinating and eventually found one dress that I liked – a simple, figure-hugging, sparkly gown. I figured if I was going to try it on I might as well try a few different styles while I was at it so I basically chose a bunch of dresses that were as different to each other as possible, assuming I could at least work out what I don’t like. When I tried on the random dress with the off-white bodice and gigantic asymmetric, layered tulle skirt, I was like, “Oh yeah, THIS is a wedding dress”. I think the edginess of the choppy, layered skirt really did it for me because I had seen so many bloody dresses, but I hadn’t seen one like this.
Because the dress was gigantic, I knew I was going to want something more practical to change into later, and I ended up buying a pair of sheer, beaded pants second-hand. On the hunt for a top, I went to Frocks and Slacks, a little appointment-only vintage studio in Melbourne, and she did have a great top for me, but she also brought out this original 1960s cream lace jumpsuit that fit me like it was made for me and that’s what I ended up wearing on the night.
Both pairs of shoes I just bought online from ASOS for super cheap. I had a bit of a hard time finding non-leather shoes in the orange colour I wanted, so I wasn’t sure how comfortable they would be, but I guess in the end, I was having too much fun to feel my feet.
Xav: I like to think that I have a half-decent sense of fashion, and an appreciation for alternative flair. And I think it’s safe to say that my guests would’ve expected nothing less, so the pressure was on to don something unapologetically, me. From the word go, I already had a rough image of the look I was trying to achieve floating around in my head – it was just a matter of finding the right people to bring it to life. Forest green was the colour I was quite insistent on to match the earthy tone of the venue. As for the style, I had been quite flexible during my research up until I tried ‘the’ suit on. A 70s-inspired, big-collared, high-waisted, flared three-piece that put all other suits to shame. I came across this beauty during a consultation at REIGNER in Carlton North, and whaddaya know?! It fit like a glove, so I walked out with said suit in-hand that very same day. I also opted for the vest, to help keep the look lasting long into the night (knowing I’d need to lose the jacket when hitting the d-floor).
The pièce de résistance, however, was the custom chain-stitch embroidery work done by my friend Cody at Dirty Needle Embroidery. The brief was Mexican sunset (homage to our engagement), floral deluxe, bone-white line fever, and boy oh boy did he deliver. The vintage shirt complemented this nicely, with its own floral design running across the chest. From there, it was all in the accessories to complete the look, including green shades to match the suit, a blue-stoned earring to bounce off the wedding band, and a pair of white vegan, ankle-height cowboy boots by Good Guys Don’t Wear Leather to make the embroidery and shirt really pop.
Favourite moment.
Xav: Seeing Rach come down the aisle.
Rach: Seeing Xav waiting for me at the end of the aisle.
Also (both): Screaming I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing at each other on the dancefloor.
Meaning of marriage.
Whilst the idea of marriage is quite traditional and often really tied in with religious practice and gender norms, we are definitely anything but those things, and it was important to us to make that known throughout the day to show anyone who would listen that a wedding and marriage can be whatever you want it to be. For us, a wedding simply gave us a platform to climb to the top of a rooftop and shout about our feelings for each other whilst having all of our people together to smile, enjoy a boogie and a drink on love! Marriage feels like a vehicle to embed a deeper connection with your significant other, an understanding that we’ll ride this wild journey together and be there for each other through the highs and lows.
Wedding soundtrack.
Real Love Baby by Father John Misty was the aisle track (also acting as the overarching theme to the day itself as our ‘wedding tagline’ if you will, showcased throughout the signage and in a glorious orange hue via an LED-lit ‘REAL LOVE BABY’ sign).
Love Gun by KISS was the balls-to-the-wall recessional exit, This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole was the signatory backing track, Let’s Groove by Earth, Wind & Fire was used for the reception entry, and we didn’t have a first dance but ended up having a phenomenal impromptu ‘first sing’ to I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith.
Funny stories (or near disasters).
When I picked up my dress about six weeks out from the wedding (after the gruelling six-month wait), it had been made in the wrong colour (all bright, BRIGHT white, instead of the off-white bodice). No one had ever even mentioned it came in other colours, so I figured it only came in the colourway of the sample I tried, which was the same as on their website. I had been super chill the entire planning process, but I nearly passed out when I saw it. That and the wait that followed was definitely pretty stressful (!!) and it threw off my whole alterations schedule as well. They managed to turn out my dress in the colour I’d originally ordered in three weeks, and I got in somewhere else for alterations, but it was still down to the wire with me picking it up two days out from the wedding and just hoping to hell it would fit.
Also, the bridesmaids and I spent hours and hours painting dozens of clear glass vases with different coloured glass paint over a couple of days, and as soon as we put water in them, all of the paint just peeled right off in sheets.
Planning suprises.
All the clichés are right! It’s time-consuming, often stressful, unavoidably expensive, but once you get to the day itself – it’s honestly the most joyful experience of our lives. 24 hours of pure happiness that’s hard to put into words but oh so worth every penny and second spent planning. The impact it had on family and friends was also quite surprising. With such a positive energy to the day, it helped to heal old wounds and bring a tear and a smile to those you wouldn’t expect it from. Only after do you realise how important and rare moments and occasions like it are in a lifetime.
Words of wisdom.
A good place to start with planning is to nut out what you definitely want and don’t want – which traditions you like, which ones you can switch up and which you can ditch. We also started by deciding on which things we thought were worth the splurge and where we thought we could get a bit more creative to cut costs.
Enjoy it. Although it was a lot of work, we were really conscious of being in the moment through the planning process and really appreciated that this was something fun that we got to do. The wedding day is the culmination of it all, but the planning is an experience that needs to be shared as well.
We fully embrace a sustainable wedding ethos and love to hear how different couples ease their wedding day impact on the planet. Here’s one take on how to make your dream day florals more eco-friendly.
RACH & XAV’S VENDORS
Before we started planning anything, we went to Lovecats Wedding Expo in Melbourne, and this really opened us up to the world of non-traditional and innovative vendors. This really helped to guide our searches toward more creative vendors as well. We sought out fun, different, queer-friendly people who we felt would ‘get’ us and our vibe, and we genuinely feel that we had the best team imaginable to bring the day to life exactly as we envisioned it.
Ceremony venue & reception venue: The Barn, Wallington. Glenys was really relaxed and great to deal with. The Barn and the property just gave us the most perfect backdrop and the freedom to make the day whatever we wanted.
Celebrant: Shan, Ceremony Collaborative. We can’t speak highly enough of Shan. Shan truly held space for us, and their energy and words absolutely nailed the brief for the funny/heartfelt and relaxed ceremony and just made everything such a breeze. We met Shan at Lovecats Wedding Expo and just knew they were the fit for us. They were the first vendor we booked once we locked in our venue.
Photography: Jackson Grant Weddings. Jackson was the absolute star. Once the wedding is done and dusted, all you really have to look back on are the photos, and ours are just everything. As soon as we met him, we knew he was exactly what and who we needed. Jackson’s energy brought out the best in everyone, and he captured so much variety from the day, allowing us to experience the moments we missed and relive all the best bits.
Styling: We did all the styling ourselves. Rach designed, procured and planned it all, but it was brought to life with help from the magic hands of friends and family.
Florist: We also did all the florals ourselves, which was kind of insane since we had no experience, but we pulled it off, again, with help in the setup from our beautiful friends and fam. Rach researched like crazy, and we ordered all of the fresh flowers through our local greengrocer, who kindly took our massive shopping list to the flower market. We also had fake flowers mixed in with the real ones, which we ordered from Floral Interiors. Using fake flowers was really handy, especially for the outdoor spaces, as it enabled us to set everything up the day before without needing to worry about whether the flowers would survive.
Hair: Matt – The Factory 3013. Matt’s work in the lead-up to getting both of our colours perfect is just a testament to the dedication he has in making sure the hair absolutely slays. Matt set the creative direction and he and Chris did all bridal and bridesmaids hair on the day and truly made us all feel like a million bucks.
Make-up: Georgia Bancroft. Georgia did the most fantastic job. My bridal makeup felt super true to me and my usual vibe but just (way) elevated. She was a gorgeous energy to have around and made us all look so stunning and polished.
The dresses: Dress – Kyha Studios. Jumpsuit – Vintage, Frocks and Slacks.
Rach’s shoes: Heels – Public Desire, Boots – ASOS Design.
Xav’s shoes: Good Guys Don’t Wear Leather
Rings: Rach – Aislinn Neave Jewellery. Xav – Veronica at Ve.co Jewellery.
Suits – Groom: REIGNER Clothing (suit), Dirty Needle Embroidery (custom embroidery), Frocks And Slacks (shirt).
Catering: Cha Chas Vegan Mexican Food Truck – Even the non-vegans absolutely raved about the food!
Bar: The Cocktail Cart – Alex and the team were so flexible to our needs and created a package to suit exactly what we wanted, including a cocktail hour. We ordered all of our booze from Dan Murphy’s and the Cocktail Cart provided glassware and bartenders and cocktail garnishes and were just so lovely.
Stationery / Signage: Tom Hulse at Hound Machine Studios brought to life the tone of our wedding through custom retro-themed graphics.
Entertainment: Leighton at Unplugged Entertainment (band – Jack and Jordan & DJ Jayden)
Audio guestbook: Guestbook Hotline – was an absolute hit with our guests!
Transport: ABDA Bus Services and Hire
Décor: Custom Neon Sign made by @HappyNeonArt on Etsy
Honeymoon: Philippines
Pet chaperone: I Do Paws – it was so special to be able to have Rach’s furry bestie Harlow there; thanks to Ash for taking such great care of her and helping coordinate to get her in photos and down the aisle with the other bridesmaids. Harlow was so happy and comfortable.