Real Wedding words of wisdom: advice from couples who’ve been there
We hear so often that you love the inspiration and experiences of real couples. Nothing compares to hearing the stories from newlywed couples themselves, from what worked and what didn’t, what they loved and enjoyed, and perhaps, what they may regret.
So, here are some wise words from our recent real weddings, filled with invaluable tips, advice and good feels passed on from those truly in the know.
Pause, stay present, enjoy.
Getting married is a full day’s job, so make sure you eat at the reception! It’s so easy to get caught up interacting with your guests and time moves quicker than you think. Pause and take in every little moment if you can!
Everyone always says the day goes by in a flash – and wow, they’re not wrong. It’s crazy to think that a whole year of planning and preparation can pass in just one day.
I was really lucky to have a photographer and videographer who gently reminded me throughout the day to pause, take it all in, and be present. Those little reminders were so important because it’s so easy to get swept up in the excitement and for everything to feel like a blur. I can’t recommend enough having someone you trust gently guide you to step back, slow down, and truly feel every moment.
Don’t leave each other’s side the entire night. We had a dry run of this at our engagement celebration and quickly realised we didn’t spend a lot of time together, so we changed tack for our wedding day. No matter how many times guests try to pull you aside to congratulate and give you love (which is amazing), make sure to do it with your partner. Take five minutes at some point in the night to sit away from the venue and look back on all your guests there to celebrate you; it’s unbelievably special.
Don’t try to cram too much into the day/night. It goes SO quick, and you want time to be able to relax and enjoy the night together.
Block out the noise.
As tricky as it can be, try not to get caught up in all the external noise. There’s so much pressure around weddings – expectations, opinions, trends – and it’s easy to lose sight of what the day is really about. Stay focused on what matters to you as a couple.
Isabel & Adam.
Keep the details to yourselves and avoid asking for too many opinions – it’s your day, and everyone will have something to say. The most important thing is to make choices that reflect what you and your partner truly want. The day is about the two of you.
Give yourself time to make decisions and don’t be afraid to veer from traditions that don’t resonate with you as a couple. A lot of elements to a wedding can be tailored to really make it feel personalised to you!
Try not to get consumed by other people’s weddings and compare yours to theirs. Your day should illustrate you as a couple and not be what anyone else wants.
Make your day exactly how you want it! We aimed for a big party and chose to focus less on the traditional aspects of a wedding. It resulted in the best day and took a lot of the pressure off.
Liam & Claudia
Smart planning and budget business.
Get married in the courthouse! We had an intimate legal ceremony at the courthouse and then wed in front of our friends and family at Coombe Yarra Valley. This significantly reduced costs as we had a friend deliver a non-legal wedding ceremony, signed a Canva marriage certificate, and took the pressure off as we were legally married the day before. We’d also suggest having an upfront discussion about the budget before booking anything and sticking to it. We used a free wedding website which provided further information and guests could RSVP through a QR code. Guests could add any song requests and dietary requirements through the QR code which made the DJ requests and dietary list quick and easy.
Keep in mind that unexpected costs will always pop up as the date approaches, so plan your budget with that in mind.
Try to make the planning process fun by organising little dates around it. One of our favourite memories was drawing up our seating chart over a drink at our favourite wine bar, Old Palm Liquor.
Write a list of your non-negotiables and refer to this throughout the planning process. Make sure you stay true to what you both want. At the end of the day, this is going to be your core memory that you will think about endlessly. For everyone else, it’s another wedding! (No one will ever care as much about your wedding as you!)
Keep it simple, but know it will always end up bigger than you expected.
Choosing the right venue is key, and it really sets the tone for the entire day. For us, finding a venue that already had so much character and didn’t need a lot of extra decorating or outside suppliers made everything so much easier. As someone who isn’t naturally crafty or super into styling, having everything in-house took a lot of pressure off and made the planning process feel much more manageable.
Trust your vendors and delegate.
Book your big-ticket vendors – like a photographer – after your venue. Doing this early on takes the pressure off and gives you breathing space before organising smaller details like songs, seating charts etc. Also try and find a venue that includes a wedding planner. Our planner communicated with our vendors ensuring everyone ran on the same schedule. This reduced our stress in the lead up and ensured we were able to relax on the day knowing someone else was making sure the day ran smoothly.
Really lean on your suppliers; they are professionals, they’ve done it all before. Listen to them when they offer advice. Always stay true to what you want, but letting the creative people do what they do best will ensure your day will go smoothly. I honestly believe that is a big part of why our day went so well. We were always open to their suggestions and made it work within our vision for the day.
You are nothing without your team. When you plan and choose your vendors, really meet with them and get to know them before choosing, these people will make or break your day, and it’s all in their hands. Our wedding was perfect, and I truly believe it was because we had the best team possible, who understood us and what we wanted. Also, take a moment together on the day to be alone and remember what that feels like; the day goes so quickly, and you don’t get to see each other much. Lastly, if you can get a coordinator on the day to make sure everything runs smoothly, it’s worth its weight in gold! There is nothing worse than having to be present in the moment but also worry about what the catering is doing and if the band will enter at the moment you need them to when you start walking down the Aisle. Lean on your team; it will make your day so much better.
If you hire great vendors, everything will come together perfectly, and you will be staring at your dreams come to life. Also, Phil’s famous saying is ‘you can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather’. What will be will be. Once the day is there, just soak it all in. It’s absolutely true what they say, the day is finished as quickly as it began!
Looking back, I’d try to stress less and take the pressure off yourself. DELEGATE. The day is undeniably amazing and beautiful, but it’s important to remember that it isn’t the only day you’ll share with your partner. Your family and friends will be just as happy to spend time with you, no matter what.
Practical tips that impact.
An obvious one, but pack comfy shoes for dancing – I had a pair of wedges on hand that saved my life after a whole day in heels. Involve your friends and family in the planning where you feel comfortable – they will love it, and it’s such a nice bonding experience. Bonus tip: if you plan on doing a champagne spray, make sure you practice! Maybe it’s just me, but it’s harder than it looks!
Aim to have everything organised four weeks out from your wedding so you can go into your wedding week feeling relaxed, excited and not overwhelmed.
Always allow extra time during the day to get ready so you aren’t rushing out the door.
Get a videographer! We almost didn’t, and I’m soooo glad we did! Be organised and keep a spreadsheet for budget and payments; it will make everything much easier.
Also, find a friend that recently got married and copy their spreadsheet! Why reinvent the wheel?
Make everything a big deal because it all goes by so quickly. Have the spray tan party! Get the bottle of champagne after buying the dress! We had a wedding party ‘get to know each other’ backyard event and it was so fun. Romanticise it all.
Ben & Jemma
Bridal parties don’t have to be even numbers!
Support and perspective.
I found joining wedding and bride-focused Facebook groups incredibly helpful. They were a goldmine of advice, support, and inspiration – from fellow brides who were planning at the same time, to past brides generously sharing their experiences and tips. It was also a great space to ask questions or get outside opinions when I needed a second (or third!) perspective.
Work together. If things feel like they are getting too stressful, or you can see them becoming too stressful, ask for help. Lean on each other for advice and always be involved together.
Have a bridal bestie! Whether it’s a planner, coordinator, bridesmaid, sister, maid of honour, friend, whoever it may be, have someone who is your go-to person to soundboard ideas off, who you know will be unbiased and will be there to support you. Planning a wedding is a big task, and sometimes you just need someone that you can vent to, that you can unload or bounce ideas off, or even just have sense checks with. A lot of the time, it’s easier to do that with someone who isn’t a family member or friend, but if you have someone that you can just unload and vent to without feeling like a burden, then that is great! It’s easier to have a single point of contact for this rather than going to many different people about different things.
Do it at the same time as your best friend! One of my best friends is getting married later this year and being able to bounce ideas etc. off her was amazing, especially since we didn’t have a wedding planner.
Embrace the unexpected.
Try your best to be adaptable (easier said than done, I know!). There were many aspects of our wedding that were different to how we pictured and planned them, but a) sometimes the spontaneous/last minute things end up being better, and b) none of your guests will even notice – remember, nobody else knows what your original plan was. Your guests will vibe off the energy you give on the day so try to relax, trust your vendors and just have fun!
If little things go wrong, don’t worry about it; nobody else will notice!
You cannot control everything that happens in the lead-up to your wedding and on the day, but you can control how you react. Don’t let the stress of altered plans ruin the magical experience.
Creative approaches.
Have a surprise wedding! It really takes the pressure off and makes the experience not only fun for you, but so exciting for your guests. It brings a whole different energy to the day at makes it memorable. Also, don’t forget to take some time to enjoy the day with just the two of you – for us, we went downstairs post ceremony and had a cheeky shot at the bar together.
Planning the festivities over two days was the best choice we made. It allowed us to have a private ceremony with our nearest and dearest, then head to dinner and drinks at Longrain Melbourne to celebrate. We could then wake up and enjoy the next morning, taking it slowly before we had to start getting ready for some more photos and the reception. This meant we could relax and truly celebrate with everyone.
Also, don’t feel pressured to have a huge guest list. If we could give one piece of advice, it would be to consider an intimate wedding – it was the best decision we made.
Chloe & Toby
Having plenty of time really worked in our favour, so if you can plan well in advance, you’ll get to work with all the best vendors. Spend money where it’s important to you, if something doesn’t resonate, leave it out. We didn’t have a bridal party, for example, there’s no rules!
Halfway through the process, we thought ‘why didn’t we elope?’ but we can safely say that the big wedding we ended up having was the most special, fun and crazy day, and we would do it ALL again in a flash. If you’re on the fence about small vs big wedding, go big and enjoy every moment of the craziness.
Remember what matters most.
Just enjoy it! It’s so easy to put pressure on yourself to have the “perfect wedding”, but at the end of the day, your wedding should be the best day of your life. Do what makes you and your partner happy, and if you’re enjoying yourselves, everyone else will have fun too! Remember, your guests won’t remember the smaller details, they’ll remember the atmosphere and the energy, so have fun and try not to stress the small stuff.
Enjoy it! Don’t take yourselves too seriously, you want to look back at this entire stage of your life and remember it as a joyful and special time in your life, not stressful and unenjoyable. Remember to spend quality time with each other throughout the whole journey because it is such a special moment in time.
It was so special having our little boy there with us. We had some special moments with him, and having him sit up at the table with us in his little suit was super cute.
At the beginning of our wedding planning, Alva read a quote that stuck:
“No one cares about your wedding as much as you do.”
It might sound a bit harsh at first, but honestly? It became a helpful reminder whenever things started to feel stressful or overwhelming.
People love going to weddings. They don’t care if your place cards are handwritten or printed at home—they’re just happy to be there, to celebrate you and your love. So let go of the tiny things, focus on the moments that matter, and make sure you’re having fun too.
The thread running through all this wisdom? Your wedding day is exactly that – yours.
While the advice here offers valuable perspectives from couples who’ve navigated the planning process and emerged with insights worth sharing, the most important guidance remains trusting yourselves to create a celebration that feels authentically right for your relationship, your budget, and your vision the beginning to your married life.
Want more real couple inspiration and advice? See our curated collections of real wedding spotlights, here.
